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The other day, I desperately needed a break from writing a guide to online bike buying. I just wanted a quick distraction from the serious business of researching the sort of high-quality, practical bikes that I could recommend to you, dear reader. I wondered to myself, “What are the weirdest bikes you can buy on Amazon?” I quickly ran a search, and although I entirely expected to discover some strangeness, but I had no idea as to the utterly crazy vehicles that you can put into your Amazon cart! As I perused, I found: a suitcase e-bike, a cargo bike that converts to a child stroller, an electric fat tricycle, a road bike that looks like it came from hell, and this adorable electric scooter with a cargo compartment that can apparently be used to transport a tiny dog:
Some of these bikes are absolutely dumb, some are very cheap, others are outrageously pricey, and most are fairly ugly. A very small handful of these bicycles I actually wouldn’t mind riding, and I must confess that a few of them aren’t actually bikes at all. To be honest, the only thing that binds these vehicles is that they all roll on one or more wheels – the Mobo Triton Pro below has three:
Below are my 33 of my favorite wheeled oddities, in no particular order. Clicking on any of the images or captions will take you directly to the Amazon listing – I definitely recommend doing this, as the badly-translated descriptions are often more ridiculous than the bikes themselves. (Prices are not listed, as they often change, and all of the products were available as of November 2019.)
What’s your favorite freaky bike? Leave your comments below the post, especially if you own or are considering buying one of these weird machines!
1. This ain’t your grandma’s tricycle…but your grandpa would probably love it!
I can’t decide if this electric-assist beast is a badass or more of a cutie. Keep in mind that\ despite the questionable brand name of Addmotor, there is no need to add a motor, it’s already there.
2. Truly ingenious, and it comes in turquoise!
This neat-looking triangle-shaped city bike was designed from the ground up, fits people between 4’9″-6’4″, and folds up into a tiny package, so what’s not to like? What’s more, it comes in three colors including my favorite: turquoise! Strida seems like a reputable brand – they actually have their own website, always a good sign – and the bike has a good rating on Amazon. The price ain’t bad, either. I’m surprised I haven’t seen more of these around town…it’s probably probably because everyone is riding electric scooters instead of bicycles these days, but don’t get me started on that one…
3. Feather-light two-wheeled awkwardness
Were it not for the god-awful handlebars and the gaudy red brake calipers, this could have been a pretty neat city bike. The frame and fork are made of ultra light and rust-proof titanium, and instead of a greasy chain it’s powered by a silent, grease-free belt drive! I also have to point out the funky reverse brake levers and the front brake which is mounted behind the fork. While it’s unfortunate that this expensive machine has the looks of something that you’d throw together in an evening from spare bike parts in your garage, but I’d bet that the ride is probably silky smooth and silent.
4. From the household Transformer line
You think you’re looking at a fairly standard cargo bike, but flip the rear “bike” part of the WIKE Salamander, and presto: you now have a child stroller! As the description states, this is, “The world’s first and only bicycle that converts instantly into a stroller or delivery cart without stopping,” but personally I wouldn’t want to do any transforming while in motion. This is a strange vehicle indeed, and I’d bet that it has some serious design flaws. Reading the only customer review is highly recommended!
5. Quite the opposite of “treading lightly”
It looks like it belongs on the moon, but you can use it to destroy your local outdoor trail today! I know this would be just the ticket for some folks with mobility (or laziness) issues, but the idea of a recumbent e-trike just doesn’t sit well with me. That said, if in some alternate universe I ever got to ride it – especially on some sand or snow – I’d probably have a blast.
6. It takes two tandems to tango
Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like: two cheap tandem bikes that have been affixed together, with a flimsy sun shade thrown in as a bonus. Photo #2 shows off a cheap plastic pedal, surely indicative of the overall quality. You’ve got to make sure it’s really what you want, since there are “NO RETURNS ACCEPTED” (I’m pretty sure this is against Amazon’s rules, but whatever, you’re not gonna buy this thing anyways). I urge you to watch the instructional video listed in the description, it’s very helpful if you understand Mandarin, but even if you don’t, you’re bound to enjoy the EPIC soundtrack!
7. Handlebar mustache required to ride
Not gonna lie, I actually kind of like this thing, I mean it’s made of stainless steel so it’ll never rust, plus the leather battery compartment looks like a wine holder. Did I mention it’s also got a shaft drive? This bike strives for equal parts classy and retro, which is all good, but the modern deep-dish wheels you’d normally find on hipster fixies just don’t match the vibe. Although…with some nice gumwall tires on this, maybe I’d consider growing a mustache and take it for a spin.
8. Go back to the future with this neat e-motorcycle
The Munro 2.0 is technically not an e-bike, as it’s got foot pegs and no pedals, so you won’t be getting much exercise while riding it. It looks like a fast machine, but it’s anybody’s guess since no specs are listed. See photo #4 to see how to NOT to ride it…no helmet, seriously?
9. We traveled to the future, and everyone was riding these!
This “tadpole” trike actually looks like it’s got some pretty nice components, and seems like it would be ultra-comfortable for long distances (I’d want to add a tall, bright flag to make myself more visible though). The brief description assures us that, “This is not a cheaply made Chinese product,” and while it definitely IS NOT cheap, it probably IS made in China. I would definitely take this one for a test ride if it showed up on my doorstep!
10. Own a Guinness world record holder!
Looking like every boy’s dream dirt bike, the Delfast Prime claims to be, “an official World Guinness Record E-bike with the longest range ever – 226 miles on a single charge.” If this claim is true, that’s pretty amazing indeed. Seems like the pedals were probably an afterthought (or maybe just a safety feature in case you totally drain your battery out in the desert) because getting this 132-pound to move has got to be a drag!
11. Shhhh…here comes the quiet Harley
Who the hell knows why the full title includes the terms “Snowmobile” and “Off-Road,” because this beast is neither. It costs much, much more than the $500 lowrider bike it resembles, and if you’re interested in it, keep checking the price because it’ll probably keep dropping until it sells.
12. It looks so wrong, but maybe it’ll feel right?
It looks to me like a collection of afterthoughts, instead of something that was actually designed as a functional package. It also reminds me of the weird vehicles I used to build out of Legos when I was 10 years old. Not sure how good a ride it can provide, with two front wheels, but it does fold up into an impressively tiny package when you’re back in your apartment, as shown in photo #7.
13. A Harley for Earth lovers
To me it just looks like a Harley from which the engine was stolen. I do like the super chunky tires though, and it’s probably a pretty comfortable, laid-back ride. If you own one, can I take it for a spin, please?
14. Cuteness overload, with built-in chihuahua storage!
This one is so adorable it should be illegal. Looking at the photos is highly recommended, as you will discover that the center “cage” can indeed be used to carry groceries, or your small pet.
15. For graffiti-obsessed Harley-Davidson fans
This freak mobile combines two of someone’s favorite styles: Harley-Davidson motorcycles and street graffiti. Supposedly it can climb up to a 30-degree hill, so it’s gotta have some serious torque! The passenger seat definitely looks like it’s just been slapped on, not sure I’d trust it to carry anyone I care about.
16. A pedicab for the apocalypse (or just the beach)
Stop dreaming, and start your off-road pedicab business today! This would be quite nice transportation at the post-apocalyptic Burning Man festival.
17. With this one, you’ll be running “circles” around your competition!
There is surely some city in China where everybody rides these. It reminds me of those tiny bicycles ridden by circus chimps (is this going to be their main customer base?)
18. Still too expensive at one-tenth the price!
The price of this one simply HAS TO be an error! My eyes hurt from looking at it, so let’s just move on…
19. A suitcase you can ride!
Like a magic rug from the future, this little scooter is just what you need when you’ve got a long ways to go at the airport, and it’s got no moving walkways.
20. Looks pretty cool, if only from a distance
At 50 feet it looks like an undoubtedly cool and practical Dutch cargo bike, but get up close and you’ll see that it’s outfitted with inferior components. For the price of a good used car, I’d seriously expect something better than an inexpensive 6-speed rear derailleur! And, gasp, no disc brakes!
21. When you can’t decide between cheap or ugly, get both!
This one combines all of my least favorite features of cheap bikes in one chartreuse-colored package. If you’re a 9-year-old boy though, seeing this monster under the Christmas tree would put a huge smile on your face.
22. Highly overpriced retro
It’s not the worst looking e-bike ever, but had they left the pedals off it would have looked even more like a pre-WWII motorcycle (and I’m assuming that’s the look they were striving for?)
23. This Christmas, give the gift of the ugliest e-bike!
It folds, it’s got a battery, it’s got three-spoke wheels, and it’s the ugliest thing around. Check out photo #5: “STRONG MANS CHALLENGE,” which begs the question of why would a “strong man” ride an electric-assist bike? Perhaps the worst feature of it is the outrageously steep price tag. I seriously can’t find anything to say positive here…
24. Wait…are we missing some parts here?!
Nope, there’s nothing missing exept you sitting on it. I tried to find photos of an actual human riding this unicycle, and I was not successful, so I’m not sure if it’s ever been done. Dare to be the first?
25. An innovative way to carry your child (uncomfortably)
Yes, that is indeed a child seat in the middle, paired with some tiny handlebars! Photo #7 will show you how to have the most cramped ride ever. You know what they say, “A family that rides a scooter in close quarters together, gets really annoyed with one another.”
26. The designer’s been drinking again…
I don’t care how comfortable, fast, or efficient this monstrosity may be, it’s just too ugly to ride.
27. So my uncle built this thing in his garage…
Looks super rudimentary, but the price is fantastic, and with 4/5 stars from over 300 reviews, this recumbent trike might actually be a worthy purchase!
28. The cycling choice for attention whores
A road bike that looks like it was designed in Hell by the Devil himself. If I see you riding past me on this, I promise that I will totally ignore you.
29. This one is next-level ugly…
Nothing to see here folks, just another hideous folding mountain bike. The tri-spoke wheels look medieval somehow…why couldn’t this have been the theme of the entire bike?
30. It’ll never be called sexy, but it’s undoubtedly unisex
With 4.5/5 stars from nearly 30 reviews, it seems like a totally reasonable purchase. It’s available in several pretty neat colors, I just wish that it didn’t resemble the ubiquitous rental bikes that litter most large cities these days…I guess that’s one way of deterring bike thieves.
31. Is this a sign of Schwinn’s identity crisis, or a sign of things to come?
The chunky gumwall tires got my attention, but I just can’t get past the unique combination of drop handlebars and electric assist. Unlike most newer Schwinns, this one actually looks pretty great and features quality components, including a Bosch mid-drive motor. Your grandpa who used to race bikes, or a tired dad who just need to get out of the house quickly, would be the most likely candidates to ride this.
32. This one’s got everything…that nobody asked for
This questionable folding electric-assist three-wheeler might be the ultimate grocery getter, as it sports a shopping basket and a rear rack! Check out photo #5, and read the caption for some unintended comedic relief.
33. It doesn’t get any more expensive than this sucker…
The Haoyushangmao (say that three times fast!) is easily the most expensive bike you can currently buy on Amazon. It looks like a legit carbon-frame electronic-shifting road bike, but why in the world would you buy an ultra-expensive bike from a brand that nobody’s ever heard of? Perfect for online shoppers who like to live life on the edge (of their laptop).